Friday, February 16, 2007





SaveDarfur.org has a post called "Educate Others" that's worth checking out...


Hundreds of thousands of people around the world have responded to the suffering in Darfur by standing up and demanding that their governments take action to end the crisis. However, many individuals still have not heard about the genocide in Darfur. To build the political will necessary to end the genocide it is imperative that more people learn about the security and humanitarian crisis in Darfur and find out how they can help end the genocide. We have created materials to help you teach others about the ongoing genocide in Darfur. These resources include background information on the conflict in Darfur, a PowerPoint presentation, and recommendations for engaging your audience in advocacy activity on behalf of the people of Darfur.




SaveDarfur.org has a post called "Fatima Haroun Responds to State of the Union Address"

I left my home in Philadelphia full of hope Tuesday morning. I carried this hope, and that of my fellow Darfurians, with me to Washington to hear President Bush’s State of the Union address. Congressman Steve Israel from New York invited me to this special occasion. Talking with him during the day, I learned that he also wanted President Bush to use his platform on Tuesday night to lay out a plan to end the genocide that has ravaged my homeland for four years.


President Bush did mention Darfur in his speech, saying that the US will "continue to awaken the conscience of the world to save the people of Darfur.” As I sat in the Capitol gallery, I appreciated his words but at the same time, I couldn’t help but feel a sense of disappointment. I did not see how those words could be more than the promises that Darfurians have heard from the international community over the last four years.

Darfurians have heard the outcry of the American people and the world community who have taken on the responsibility of speaking out for those that are unable to speak for themselves. What they are still waiting for, though, is a tangible solution for the world’s greatest ongoing humanitarian crisis. President Bush and the United States Congress declared the situation in Darfur a genocide over two years ago, and I am still hopeful that they will work together to offer a solution to the crisis before his tenure is complete.

The situation in Darfur is currently at a turning point. On the ground the violence has escalated in recent months and even spilled over the border into Chad and Central African Republic. What we as Darfurians are asking is that President Bush and the international community push for the implementation of an effective international peacekeeping force, already authorized by U.N. Security Council resolution 1706, to protect our friends and family who remain unprotected.

I remain confident that the international community will come to the aid of those still struggling to survive in Darfur, but I don’t know how much longer hope can sustain them.



What you can do

UUSC: Drumbeat for Darfur:
Acting to End Genocide Now
UNICEF - Crisis in Darfur
Wristbands etc
Eyewitness account



or you can do nothing.









Sunday, February 11, 2007

Non-Persons



Please watch this all the way through.

This is her web site - I am humbled.

Friday, February 09, 2007

Withinsight: Close Guantanamo Bay



sometimes I think the world is on upside down, and it's hopeless, and then I read about people who DO things to make it right, and I am encouraged....

“The Roots of Violence: Wealth without work, Pleasure without conscience, Knowledge without character, Commerce without morality, Science without humanity, Worship without sacrifice, Politics without principles” ~ Mahatma Gandhi


from Withinsight: Close Guantanamo Bay

thanks Gary....





Friday, January 19, 2007

Monday, January 15, 2007

messages

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.” ~ by Marianne Williamson





Friday, January 12, 2007

Home? for the Holidays


I just finished watching "Over the Hedge" with my kids - if you haven't seen it, you should, funny, wacky, with a nice environmental message slipped in, and Canadians dominated the cast (that's one thing we Canadians do - look for that sort of thing, and then go on and on about it, that and the weather). How do I know this, well of course we must watch all the special features at the end, one being all about the cast - are you ready? William Shatner, Eugene Levy, Catherine O'Hara, & Avril Lavigne - Bruce Willis? baahhh! (btw - the squirrel, that would be my son)

So what does a kid's movie have to with going "home"? Well there's the rub. Just where is home for me now? I am Canadian (can recite the Joe Canadian thing etc), very proudly so, still say 'zed' use Celsius and metric down here in Chicagoland, but really I have no place in Canada to call home anymore. When I was driving across the border for the first time in almost two years this holiday season, I was elated, I was HOME. I was dans mon pays (in my country), but I have no homebase. We moved so much as kids, and later I did on my own - let me see now (in order....)

Winnipeg - born
PEI
Hamilton
Nashville (less than a year, when my dad was teaching at Vanderbilt) - kindergarten
Grimsby (with my grandparents briefly)
Hamilton (couple of apartments) grades 2 - 6?
Dundas (a house!) grades 6 - 10 (2months of grade 10)
Thunder Bay (2 townhouses) grades 10 - 13
London (3 apartments) unversity
Toronto (4 apartments) unversity- work- got married
Mississauga - had baby
Yarker (oh gawd... outside of Kingston) had 2 babies
Cornwall - 4years, my personal record at any one address, and my last Canadian address.

just which place would I call home?

I've been here 3 1/2 years, and on my return journey with the kids this time, I kept thinking I just wanted to get home, and then doubling back on that thought. I have a social security #, an IL driver's license, and can legally work in the US now. I was suppose to get an RCMP check done while in Canada, but got so hopelessly lost in Kitchener (of all places) that after a hour I gave up. (the trip home could be 3 blogs, but don't hold your breath) The Canadian criminal check (I'm clean) is the last thing I needed for my Green Card here, so I can start my nursing IL registration, and get my divorce going, so I can start over in this country. Wasn't the time for it I guess.

So where is my home? Not at my mother's (at least not for more than 48hrs every 2years!), no one city holds me emotionally(except maybe Toronto), but Canada does hold my family, almost all of which I got to see in my trip. Most taking huge chunks of their time to drive out to where we were, just for one evening. My children were beyond thrilled, and I still am so touched I can hardly express it. (actually my oldest daughter was completely entranced with my cousin's boyfriend, she has just recently stopped going on about him....). In that way I felt so proud even to be a small part of such a marvelous extended family.

Still I am now a guest in my own country. I have made a family for myself and children here, and they are wonderful as well. We were surrounded at Solstice, Christmas Eve, and Christmas Day - and missed a brilliant annual family party New Years Eve - me with the chicken head, very classy event.... (but I was with my brother and his family). I have warm loving adults who are not 'substitute aunts and uncles' but safe adults other than me for my children to seek council from, and houses to go to when needed, and their children come also come here.

Still I feel adrift. I would like to stake out one place, and say "this is mine" this is my spot on this planet, where I will make my mark. Perhaps that's what 2007 will be about for me, or perhaps it will be another year of learning patience and tolerance - time will tell.

In the end, home will be where my children and I end up, and wherever that is, we will make it our own.

Monday, December 25, 2006

on Christmas day

Erma Bombeck once wrote a piece about Christmas, about looking back with fondness on the homemade gifts of cotton balls and toothpicks with glue.

This year I received a felt stuffed angel with only slightly tilted wings, one that I had spent much of my own time "helping" to sew (along with other family homemade presents). She is beautiful. I also received a homemade heart with the words "I Love You" sew into it, a set of my OWN sharpie markers (gasp!), and a new note book to write it, (I've filled another). The last two items were purchased with money saved and budgeted between three other family members, money clutched in Christmas lines carrying small baskets of gifts while I was to stand "away". The gifts then hidden in rooms and carefully wrapped in secret and carried down and placed under our tree.

They are more precious to me than anything else I could ever receive.

Below are my "homemade" gifts to my children, they seemed to like them, although right now they are watching Monty Python's Flying Circus (what WAS I thinking!) and have completely forgotten them.... :-)

a letter about Catherine

Catherine, sometimes
seems to be more spirit than she is flesh,
or, perhaps
she has more felicity than
the instrument that is her body
will contain.
for it may appear
she is akin to sunshine,
refusing to be restrained,
streaming out and through
all afforded spaces
brilliantly expanding
reflecting over
everything within her grasp.

resonating from just under
her brave skin is
joy, exuberance, dance and laughter
together, and all at once.

she swallows the earth
in a fierce embrace, and
steps boldly out into its
darkness,
and, its brightness
arms open
mouth spilling laughter
to mingle and weave
within the world’s voice.

she is liquid speed and
profound stillness
side by side.
kaleidoscopically dancing
to music she composes
with handfuls of willow leaves and
brightly woven yarn
tossed into the air.

I hear her between the
soft rasping of a page turned,
and the persistent rasp of
pencils across paper.

she is my teacher,
my guide,
my joy,
my daughter.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

a letter about Graham

he cannot step lightly.

Graham’s heartbeats and footsteps thunder.
the world, left without choice, expands
in the presence of absolute life,
resting, only when he does.

his eyes regard you with utter openness,
his soul, laid bare upon his pale and bandaged skin.
is free to look upon,
to touch, to embrace, and sometimes, even kiss;
if you can bare its raw beauty.
for he has not yet learned how to guard it,
to shield it from this worlds blows, or joys.

his sorrows wrap themselves around the moon
and the oceans feel their pull.

in ecstasy, he his flings brightness to the stars,
and they twinkle back their gratitude;
on earth branches arch from leaves’ laughter
a mere home may not contain such elation.

his heart, he sometimes carries
cupped, in his still small hands;
these are the times I glimpse the man,
he will become.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

a letter about Elizabeth

she carries
my heart, in a bucket of sand, she
uses to make sandcastles,
collects water from the ocean
with seashells for its walls.
she regards me with eyes
older, more profound than
her oceans;
questions the universe,
in the voice of a child,
tapes letters to God
to her window.

Elizabeth walks barefoot, climbs
trees on an earth
she has tread long before;
senses its pulse, breathes its skies,
and later, paints them in
watercolours.

she dances, (barefoot) and giggles,
with raindrops and snowflakes,
cradles earthworms and spiders
as precious treasures, before
returning them home;
and helps me bury small birds
in our yard.

she carries my heart
in a fierce little body,
born with more wisdom,
more compassion,
more love,
than I may comprehend.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


and so there they are. presently engrossed in the Flying Circus, and I must have more coffee. no snappy graphics with this one, its Christmas and I shouldn't be near this box anyway.

Happy Christmas all.



Friday, December 08, 2006

Dear Santa .....

Dear Santa,

I've been a good mom all year. I've fed, cleaned and cuddled my children on
demand, visited the doctor's office more than my doctor, sold sixty-two
cases of candy bars to raise money to plant a shade tree on the school
playground. I was hoping you could spread my list out over several
Christmases, since I had to write this letter with my son's red crayon, on
the back of a receipt in the laundry room between cycles, and who knows when
I'll find anymore free time in the next 18 years.

Here are my Christmas wishes:

I'd like a pair of legs that don't ache (in any color, except purple, which
I already have) and arms that don't hurt or flap in the breeze; but are
strong enough to pull my screaming child out of the candy aisle in the
grocery store.

I'd also like a waist, since I lost mine somewhere in the seventh month of
my last pregnancy.

If you're hauling big ticket items this year I'd like fingerprint resistant
windows and a radio that only plays adult music; a television that doesn't
broadcast any programs containing talking animals; and a refrigerator with a
secret compartment behind the crisper where I can hide to talk on the phone.

On the practical side, I could use a talking doll that says, "Yes, Mommy" to
boost my parental confidence, along with two kids who don't fight and three
pairs of jeans that will zip all the way up without the use of power tools.

I could also use a recording of Tibetan monks chanting "Don't eat in the
living room" and "Take your hands off your brother," because my voice seems
to be just out of my children's hearing range and can only be heard by the
dog.

If it's too late to find any of these products, I'd settle for enough time
to brush my teeth and comb my hair in the same morning, or the luxury of
eating food warmer than room temperature without it being served in a
Styrofoam container.

If you don't mind, I could also use a few Christmas miracles to brighten
the holiday season. Would it be too much trouble to declare ketchup a
vegetable? It will clear my conscience immensely. It would be helpful if you
could coerce my children to help around the house without demanding payment
as if they were the bosses of an organized crime family.

Well, Santa, the buzzer on the dryer is ringing and my son saw my feet under
the laundry room door. I think he wants his crayon back.
Have a safe trip and remember to leave your wet boots by the door and come
in and dry off so you don't catch cold.

Help yourself to cookies on the table but don't eat too many or leave crumbs
on the carpet.

Yours Always, MOM...!

P.S. One more thing...you can cancel all my requests if you can keep my
children young enough to believe in Santa.

Wednesday, December 06, 2006

Wednesday, November 22, 2006

YES! YES! YES!







Who is Your Future Husband?




Colin Firth is Your Future Husband
Take this quiz!




Poor Tragic Me......

or THIS....


Which Classic Female Literary Character Are you?

You're Anna Karenina of Anna Karenina by Leo Tolstoy!
Take this quiz!








Quizilla

Monday, November 20, 2006

the earth and me


There is a quote on our refrigerator that from a distance seems to read “Change the World”. Only when you come closer can you read the entire quote –

be the

change

you wish

to see in the

world ….

-gandhi

My children – sometimes, I think – may grow weary of my soapbox speeches, of my going through the garbage pulling out items, demanding “who put this recyclable in the garbage?!” holding high the hapless yogurt cup, the macaroni & cheese box, the un-rinsed soup can, as they stick their faces deeper into their assorted books, avoiding all eye contact. -But be careful what you wish for- because now the van we drive, or my purse - when we walk often has a collection of recyclable items mucking about inside them that we are forever taking home to put out with our recycling, because the kids will NOT throw it in a garbage can. Each week our house “wins” for the biggest recycling heap – 4 containers usually, sometimes with extra Trader Joe’s bags as well.

So why? Why bother? Why drive my children crazy – other than the obvious? – it would be easier just to leave things as they are, NOT stir the pot, NOT make my children worry and care for our planet and its inhabitants. Why have I chosen the more difficult path, and taken my children down it with me? - If you would like a very entertaining answer – ask one of my children directly.

Why?

I do it because of them, in spite of them, for them, and for myself. I did it before they were gleams in my eye, I do it when no one is looking, and I will do it when they have grown up and I am on my own.

As a child, I could never grasp the idea of the father figure, of the all knowing God. What I did grasp was the trees, their branches, their leaves to peek out of. I grasped the dirt, I grasped handfuls dandy lions and hid them in secret places, amazed when their tight yellow faces popped into white lacy finger tips. I touched the creek’s cold water, reached for escaping fish, grasped grouchy crayfish and soon send them scuttling back to their rocky homes. I spent hours watching birds and animals – I still do these things - and retain my childhood awe and wonder at nature’s innate wisdom and perfection. My garage contains many ‘bulk sacks’ of dog, cat, rat & gerbil food plus sacs of different types of bird seeds, piles of suet cakes, and peanuts and corn for chipmunks & squirrels. I choose to surround myself in life.

I wrote this on a weekend spiritual retreat I went on last spring. It’s called river


river


Has there always been such green
all and each
so richly saturated
with this chromatic life,
these leaves, spirits within living stories,
twisting over
and around
and in between
each and one another
in their lilting seduction of
wind and sun?

did they do this yesterday?
did they flicker in this coquettish glee
inside my footfalls
sun tickling tenderly
each surface - so thoughtfully webbed-
while in their turn they reached
to lick the honeyed beams
along this muddied path
to water’s edge.
I walk to sense the flowing strength
flirting within twinkling beams
and to caress,
between reflective ripples,
smooth slippery stones
filled with energy.

will there always be
such life?

Will there always be such life?

This I cannot not answer, for it is a question that is beyond my comprehension.

I know my understanding of life depends on the soil upon which I stand the sky into which I gaze, and on the energy and unbelievable beauty of life on this planet. All are a precious gift freely given by earth and sky together, not only for us, but for all creation. For me, the spark of the divine is in blades of grass, in spring time robins, in heavy purple gray storm clouds and in the eyes of animals and of people.

Mary Oliver has a marvelous poem that says this for me it’s called The Summer Day

The Summer Day

Who made the world?

Who made the swan,

and the black bear?

Who made the grasshopper?

This grasshopper, I mean-

the one who has flung herself out of the grass,

the one who is eating sugar out of my hand,

who is moving her jaws back and forth instead of up and down-

who is gazing around with her enormous and complicated eyes.

Now she lifts her pale forearms and thoroughly washes her face.

Now she snaps her wings open, --and floats away.

I don't know exactly what a prayer is.

I do know how to pay attention, how to fall down into the grass, how to kneel down in the grass, how to be idle and blessed, how to stroll through the fields, which is what I have been doing all day.

Tell me, -- what else should I have done?

Doesn't everything die at last, and too soon? Tell me,-- what is it you plan to do

with your one wild and precious life?

Tell me, what is it you plan to do -- with your one wild and precious life?

As the poet Rumi says “There are a thousand ways we can kneel and kiss the earth”

Tuesday, November 14, 2006

THIS is Beauty?

Forgive me, but is this what is considered beautiful today? These poor women have permanently damaged their skeletons, their internal organs, not to mention what this does to their minds. Why does the world put up with such nonsense? I must weight at least 60 pounds more than the heaviest of these women, and I'm considered 'normal'. I apologize for the babbling of this post, but the men I posted previously make more sense than these shadows of women.
























































Tuesday, October 24, 2006

why some women choose to remain single . . .

























































































alright I know it seems harsh, but I believe there to be a seed of truth in this - especially in our world of anonymous and misleading internet communications. Personally I think I've communicated with several of these guys.... you never know, I could be one of them typing this right now....










Friday, October 20, 2006

Silliness


FIRST NAME? Ruth / Ann / also answers to Bruce (don't ask)

WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE? with the above combination? are you kidding?

WHEN DID YOU LAST CRY? Likely during a movie

DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING? yup, not too bad for south paw scribbling

IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU? then I wouldn't be me, I would be another person - really I have no idea, I hope so

DO YOU HAVE A JOURNAL? several, some for poetry, some for writing, some for whatever

DO YOU USE SARCASM A LOT? never heard of it.

DO YOU STILL HAVE YOUR TONSILS? and most of my own teeth

WOULD YOU BUNGEE JUMP? absolutely, wanna go now?

WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE CEREAL? oatmeal

DO YOU UNTIE YOUR SHOES WHEN YOU TAKE THEM OFF? yes, and tie them up again when I put them on - oh the anal retentiveness of it all

DO YOU THINK YOU ARE STRONG? I'm raising 3 kids - wadda you think?

WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM? can't eat it - quite fond of lemon sorbet

WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE? eyes - eyes - eyes - and usually their hair and hands

WHAT IS THE LEAST FAVORITE THING ABOUT YOU? my multiple felonies

ANY BROTHERS OR SISTERS? 1 brother

DO YOU WANT EVERYONE TO SEND THIS BACK TO YOU? no. they can do what makes them happy.

WHAT COLOR PANTS AND SHOES ARE YOU WEARING? jeans and blue socks

THE LAST THING YOU ATE? spelt bread with natural peanut butter and pomeagranate white tea

WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW? 'devil's dance' performed by gil shaham

IF YOU WERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOUR WOULD YOU BE? the broken bits of leftover colours at the bottom of the box

FAVOURITE SMELLS? lavender, food cooking, clean sheets

WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE? my friend Kelley

DO YOU LIKE THE PERSON WHO SENT THIS TO YOU? absolutely - but I snagged it from him

FAVORITE DRINK? Tea - several types - depending on the time of day

FAVORITE SPORT TO WATCH? soccer - HELLO - gorgeous men in shorts, sweating and running around, what's not to like?

HAIR COLOR? which one?

WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE FOOD? sushi, raw tuna done perfectly, thai food, dark chocolate - and someone lovely to eat it with.

SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDINGS? yes, but it takes a lot to scare me these days

LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED? ummm, I watched Kenneth's Hamlet for the umteeth time about 3 weeks agao

WHAT COLOR SHIRT ARE YOU WEARING? heather brown turtle neck

SUMMER OR WINTER? spring and autumn

HUGS OR KISSES? I could go for a hug about now - kisses, maybe later.

MOST LIKELY TO RESPOND? likely no one.

LEAST LIKELY TO RESPOND? ditto

WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING? one with the kids, and Mary Oliver & Pablo Neruda's poetry collections, oh yeah and sections of the Poisonwood Bible for a presentation I'm giving

WHAT'S ON YOUR MOUSE PAD? a silly smiley moon thingy

WHAT DID YOU WATCH LAST ON TV LAST NIGHT? don't watch TV

FAVORITE SOUNDS? sound of water, absolutely grounds me. that and music.

ROLLING STONES OR BEATLES? can't make me answer this one

DO YOU HAVE A SPECIAL TALENT? yes.

WHEN WERE YOU BORN? on a hot and steamy night

WHERE WERE YOU BORN? in a delivery room on a hot and steamy night

Okay Lance.....

First I would like to say this is almost an impossible quiz for me to answer with single books - but I will try....

Second this is only a snapshot of me presently, if I answered this tomorrow, or next week, my answers could be completely different

1. One book that changed your life (hardest question first).
The Poisonwood Bible by Barbara Kingsolver

2. One book you’ve read more than once. Good Omens by Terry Prachett & Neil Gaiman (and it's signed by both authors)

3. One book that you’d want on a desert island. A Complete Collection of Pablo Neruda's Poetry (but I'd find a way to sneak in several more....)

4. One book that made you laugh. The Giggler Treatment - Roddy Doyle (my kids and I still howl over this one)

5. One book that made you cry. Fried Green Tomatoes at the Whistle Stop Cafe - Fanny Flagg

6. One book that you wish you had written. anything by Barbara Kingsolver

7. One book you wish had never been written. Little Alters Everywhere (sequel to The Divine Secrets of the Ya Ya Sisterhood) - ruined the first book for me - but I more wish I hadn't read it, rather than it not have been written.

8. One book you are reading at the moment. Thief and the Beanstalk - to the kids, embarrassingly nothing for myself right now, other than poetry books and my own writing.

9. One book that you’ve been meaning to read. Until I Find You - John Irving (do NOT tell my mother I have not read this yet)

10. Tag five others that you’d like to do this meme. - oh I'm no good at tagging, if you read this and want to go ahead....

In conclusion I would like to say the
one book rule sucks!

Tuesday, October 17, 2006

Friday, October 13, 2006

Canadian Idiot

A music video for Weird Al's new song, "Canadian Idiot" - not that I would know a THING aboot Canadian Idiots....

Wednesday, September 27, 2006

Hedgehog in the Fog-Yuriy Norshteyn

"This is a story about a little hedgehog (voice of Mariya Vinogradova) and his friend bear cub (voice of Vyacheslav Nevinniy). They would meet every evening to drink tea, count the stars and have conversations. One day, as usual, the hedgehog decided to bring raspberry marmelade. As he went to the bear to count the stars, he was already thinking what to talk about. While passing through the woods on the way to his friend, the hedgehog finds a horse standing in a fog. He is curious as to whether the horse would suffocate if it lay down in the fog. Being an explorer, the hedgehog decides to explore the fog."

I only wish I could understand the language, but the story is lovely even if you cannot.



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Monday, September 11, 2006

silence




Moment of Silence



A Gandhian commemoration of September 11

While most U.S. citizens are fixated on the fifth anniversary of the terror attacks, advocates for peace are reminding us that it is also the 100th anniversary of Mahatma Gandhi's nonviolent campaign against South Africa's racial oppression laws.
Find out more about the alternative Gandhian approach.

~~~~~~~~~~~~
Five years of struggle

As Americans reflect on the five years since the terror attacks on the United States, it is important to remember the victories and losses in the struggle to protect our civil liberties.

See an analysis by the American Civil Liberties Union.


~~~~~~~~

Nationwide call for Freedom from Fear
Human rights activists are using the occasion of the fifth anniversary to urge policymakers to re-evaluate our country's post-9/11 choices and invest in building the foundations for a strong and lasting peace with justice.

Learn more about this advocacy initiative and take action.




~~~~~~~~~~~

UUSC blog (source of most of this info)

UUSC blog.

~~~~

Wednesday, September 06, 2006

"We make bad ghosts"


Since I have been immersed in poetry (and photography, but that's another blog) lately, writing and reading, I thought I would drag the rest of you through some of my world. I have, however, kept this blog on a theme, unfortunately one that just doesn't seem to go away.

Being a miliant free verse poet (I can - if I want to - write in form, sonnets even cinquains mostly - oh will she start speaking english!) I will not subject you to anything too old fashioned, or "deep".

Back to Babylon

by Viggo Mortensen
Accept and forget difference or desire that separates and leaves us longing or repelled. Why briefly return to play in broken places, to mock the ground, to collect infant shards, coins, fossils, or the familiar empty canisters and casings that glint from poisoned roots in the blackened dust? We make bad ghosts, and are last to know or believe we too will fade, just as our acrid smoke and those strange flakes of skin and strands of hair will, into largely undocumented extinction. Lie down, lie down; sleep is the best thing for being awake. Do as we've always been told and done, no backward glances or second thoughts, leaving sad markers buried in the sand. Sleep now, dream of children with their heads still on, of grandmothers unburdening clotheslines at twilight, of full kettles slow-ticking over twig embers. Ignore boneless, nameless victims that venture out on bitter gravel to claim remains while we rest.
Pay at the window for re-heated, prejudiced incantations. Take them home and enjoy with wide-screen, half-digested, replayed previews of solemn national celebration. Then sleep, by all means; we'll need all the energy we can muster for compiling this generation's abridged anthology of official war stories, highlights of heedless slaughter, to burnish our long and proud imperial tradition. At some point, by virtue of accidentally seeing and listening, we may find ourselves participating in our own rendering. Few of our prey will be left alive enough to water the sun with their modest, time-rubbed repetitions, to rephrase their particular, unifying laws. Our version of events has already made its money back in foreign distribution and pre-sales; all victory deadlines must be met.
It can get so quiet, with or without the dead watching our constant deployments. From our tilted promontory we may see one last woman scuffle away across cracked parchment of dry wash beneath us, muttering to herself—or is she singing at us?—as she rounds the sheared granite face and disappears into a grove of spindly, trembling tamarisk shadows lining the main road. We'll soon hear little other than our breathing, as shale cools and bats rise to feed, taking over from sated swallows. Night anywhere is home, darkness a cue for turning inward, quiet an invitation to review our expensive successes before morning extraction from the twin rivers of our common cradle.


This poem was inspired by a book of photographs of the bombings of Hiroshima and Nagasaki. One of the photos was of the white shadow, or silhouette, on a wall of a victim of one of the bombings.

Shadow on a Wallby Seymour Joseph

On a bright morning in August
I was thinking of fish when the sun exploded.
Takeo told me the market had fresh mackerel

and I was rushing to buy some.

But when I turned the corner it happened,

The thought of mackerel baked on coals

in my mind,

A mouth of white heat swallowed me.

But you can see me still on the wall
near the corner

Where I turned toward the market —

My shadow, left like a ransom note saying,

"I took Toshiro Fujima today,

this moment, right here,

melted his flesh in a single stroke."


My shadow stays behind to mark the place

Like an eaten fish you know by the bones

on the plate.

It's me as I walked on an August morning

With the thought of fresh fish and the touch

of a breeze from the river.

There at the end of all things,

when time was stopped,
I am recorded on a wall.

and this last one I actually have on a Poetry Slam CD set (yes I even listen to it in the car - there is no end to the nerdiness) it is written by a man who is against war, but has served. He is a brillant poet.

A Lesson from the Corps


by Marvin Bell

When you find the body, it has cauliflower ears.
It stinks of dead worms, the blood crumbles
between your fingers.
When you find the body, the sleeves of the combat
fatigues are in shreds.
Its face is puce, its torso black and blue, its
guts purple, but the teeth still gleam, and
the bones will shine up when cleaned.
Your saliva congeals, you taste dried paste.
Later, you may feel shame for noticing the colors
or hating the smell.
You were schooled to do this.
To yank the dog tag off with a snap.
You were trained not to answer back to the
silence.
There is a hiss as you compel the metal tag
between the teeth.

This day may become a whiteout, a glare, a deficit
in memory.
A place too barren even for a shriek.
A picture that didn’t develop, just a clear
negative.
For nothing recorded the thump of the bullet as it
hit, nor the webbing wet inside his helmet
liner, nor the echoing within the helmet
itself.
But you may think you remember the shudder you
didn’t see when he died.
You may imagine the last word, the mouth before
the lingering stare.
The machinery of his broken chest may appear in
dreams.
You may see the eyes, and hear the last expulsion
of air.
He is the vault now for your questions to God.
Only the dead can tell you the distance from here
to there.

Personally I haven't written much antiwar poetry - I'm just not so good at big political statements, in or out of poems, that's why I'm always hiding behind other's words, because they usually say what I feel, but so much better than I could say it.

So kudos to those brillant bloggers, and equally brillant poets. Keep it up.

Thursday, August 31, 2006

going off the deep end


deep end
Originally uploaded by Ruth Elliott.
any last words?

this is a test. (this is only a test ... blah blah blah .... had this been a real blog you might have been entertained, educated, or mildly interested by now)

I am sending this from my flickr site - ooohhh the wonderment of the internet and my magic typewriter!!!

This diving board is looking out from CT to (into?) the Atlantic Ocean (the kids told me the water was cold, I stayed warm and dry with my handy cameras).

This blog attempt is so crazy - it just may work!

I have just taken in the 250 or so other photos I took, so brace yerselves. . . .



*addendum - for more pics from my mystical and conjuring scanner, see my Imagery blog...

Wednesday, August 23, 2006

they're gone, and I'm baaak

Okay, so the "vacation" took a little longer than planned. Well the vacation went as long as planned, then real life took some adjusting to.

It was quite the time. I have bitten the big apple (and have the pictures to prove it), I have dipped my toes in the Atlantic Ocean (ditto on the pictures), I met one of my closest online friends from England, and subsequently learned that "thanks for posting a picture of my fanny on the internet" does NOT mean the same thing in England as it does here. This I learned after I posted a comment on her flickr site where she had posted pictures of our get together. I have "Performed Poetry" to an "audience" and received "applause". I discovered my "virtual" poet friends to be more warm, wonderful and human than I could have imagined.

and, I got older by one year. I am now the ultimate answer if you can figure that out.

I was loved and nurtured, and cared for in a way I never remember being cared for. I got a message that ripped out my heart, and later a phone call roughly put it back. I caught a bat inside my friend's house 12:30 while doing tarot reading on my birthday during a full moon, and set free the beautiful creature to her open night. To top it off I flew back the day of the shampoo explosives scare, sigh - they took my water bottles! and they searched my luggage on the way down, but they always search my luggage, must be the bright eyed, daft looking Canadian thing. . . .

So where are these pictures? what have you been doing since? Well the pictures have to be scanned - I use old clunkers, and the digital I borrowed I still have to get the pictures put on disc, so you will have to wait. Each of these sentences could be a blog - the musicians I talked to in Central Park, my afternoon of losing myself staring at the ocean, the adjustable beds in the hotel room..... , the night of the bat, my book - yes there will be a book, and my homecoming - but that's a different story. Lance, for you, I do have a lovely lefty blog almost done and will post as soon as I can. Lance and Glenda, thanks for your notes, wow, to be thought of, I am honoured.
Home life was a little harder to get used to. Nothing for my birthday (and Leos like a small fuss at least ), even my brother seemingly missed it. Things not so easy. But the kids are back in school and I have spent my time studying tax, immigration, and divorce law - and today will be cashing out part of the only money that is really my own, my retirement savings - so I can make a start on my own.

I will write more soon - with pictures I promise - something that includes the bright pepto-bismo pink hummer I saw last night, or perhaps that should be a poem...

I have missed you all.