EXERCISE 6: Seeing Yourself as Others See You
Accurate, perceptive praise is a rarity in our society.
This one was difficult. Here are my instructions - "Pick somebody you love and trust—a good friend, or your mate, lover, or child. Sit down with a pen and a piece of paper (no erasing!) and ask him or her to spend about three minutes telling you precisely what’s good about you. And you write it down, word for word. This is going to be your positive tape, so get it right."
I choose a good friend who knows all about my faults, and still insists on seeing my good side. What follows is not in real sentences because it was more a stream of consciousness from her. Here goes (and for the record I sat through this without any self deprecating remarks, you have no idea how difficult that was!)
Accurate, perceptive praise is a rarity in our society.
This one was difficult. Here are my instructions - "Pick somebody you love and trust—a good friend, or your mate, lover, or child. Sit down with a pen and a piece of paper (no erasing!) and ask him or her to spend about three minutes telling you precisely what’s good about you. And you write it down, word for word. This is going to be your positive tape, so get it right."
I choose a good friend who knows all about my faults, and still insists on seeing my good side. What follows is not in real sentences because it was more a stream of consciousness from her. Here goes (and for the record I sat through this without any self deprecating remarks, you have no idea how difficult that was!)
- I have amazing gifts, the way I see life and the difficulties it presents with humour, with wisdom. I have a quirkiness I inject, a hopefulness I project
- David Whyte + Rumi + Life's Absurdities = ME
- I understand life's paradoxes with humour and wisdom combined
- I bring this approach to my relationships, to my parenting, and to my extended family.
- this makes me a very good parent, one who wants to connect with my children as they really are
- I seek authenticity in relationships
- I bring who I am to my relationships
- I are who I are, I am authentic
- I have worked hard to overcome difficulties, brought an order to my life. to do this takes a certain a Will, this is uncommon
- I have insights and apply them to everyday living
- it takes courage and self awareness not to avoid issues, I have this
- I have an authentic fearlessness I express through poetry, art, photographs
- I am gifted creatively
- what I put out into the world takes a larger trust in the universe - I have this trust
- I am generous and kind in community and with my children
- I am caring with people
- I use all the above skills when working with difficult people
- I am hard working, creative and passionate
- just because I am these things does not mean I do not have to struggle
Got to love that last one. I sat through all of this and just wrote. My smirking mouth and occasionally slightly rolled eyes did not completely comply with "sit quietly, listen and write, do not argue or interrupt."
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