No tengo hombre. Necesito el chocolate

Today, bag over squared shoulders, worn, slightly moist map in hand, I went on a quest. A charged by God with a most sacred and holy quest. A quest for chocolate (no, I was not banging two coconuts together, but I could have, they were everywhere). I'm a woman of few vices, (yes, I typed that with a straight face) only coffee and chocolate really, and a certain weakness for men with particular accents, and I am rather fond of butter tarts, but that's not really a vice because butter tarts are Canadian and therefore it is patriotic to love them.

but I digress.

I was told that a smile would usually be enough to get me around here, which is good because I can tilt my head, flip my hair and smile, and also good because my knowledge of Spanish is muy muy poco.

Aside: Chocolate is the same in Spanish, English and French (not precisely, but close enough). Perhaps love or music are not the universal language, perhaps all you need is chocolate? Think about it people.

an here we see how 'just a smile' looks

After wandering around aimlessly for at least five minutes, I found a tiny old man with a large rifle across his lap. I'm used to the rifles now, but I did not take his picture, cute as he was. Smiling, I said "hola, hablas Inglés?" Hola is a great word, you say it to everybody and smile and then they forgive your horrifying Spanish. He replied "yes, I speak English". Thirty seconds later I realized we had both used up almost our entire vocabulary in the other's language. Fortunately someone else came along who wanted to help, unfortunately she knew less English than my friend with the gun. I did understand "¿dónde está tu hombre?",  "No tengo hombre". Sigh.

We managed with smiles, pointing at the map and road, and me doing some really impressive charades (really, really could-make-a-living-busking-on-the-streets impressive charades) to get me through the streets, between the rápido motorcycles, cars, buses, taxis and the odd rooster, and to the shop with chocolate, and there I blended in perfectly, in my own mind.

Back in my room, I eat an entire package of chocolate cream cookies, and all is right with the world again (there is more chocolate for tomorrow, which I am Going. To. Leave. In. The. Cupboard tonight)

 My new Spanish expressions today? Estoy perdido. Lo siento (I'm lost, sorry) and Estoy en busca para chocolate (I am looking for chocolate).