Monday, December 24, 2012

how a 72 year old Korean man and yoga are teaching me to surf

oooh, Roberto.... 

Today the sun is out, so today is the day I began surfing lessons, with Roberto.... (roll those rrrrrr's people). Turns out I'm not too bad, this has been reported to me by my surfer hostess, I thought I looked hopelessly clumsy. Tomorrow I will go to my second lesson.

Tomorrow I there are several things I will remember:

  1. Do NOT wear the low waisted bathing suit bottoms because (a)they try to slide off each and every time I flop (a generous description) up onto the board, giving my hot young surf instructor a half moon I'm certain he is still traumatized by, (b) they try to fall off in front when I'm paddling into waves and do a 'surfing upward facing dog on a board' like I;m suppose to do when cresting large(ish) waves (no idea who I'm traumatizing there, (c) they try to escape into the ocean each and every time I fall off my board.
  2. For Heavens sake Keep Your Mouth CLOSED when traveling towards a large(ish) wave, falling lamely off my board, and ducking under the water to capture escaping bottoms.
  3. A smallish wave in the face will do more to clean your sinus than any pharmaceutical or nasal spray every could.
  4. Stay LOW. Lean FORWARD. Leaning backwards is the Number 1 cause of bathing suit bottom escape attempts because one hits the water ass first.
  5. Everything comes from your core, you control the board with your core - try to remember that.
  6. Two hours surfing uses ALL of the muscles in your body, including your sinus muscles, I'm not sure if they exist, but something is getting a workout inhaling and exhaling gallons of ocean at a time.
  7. All surf instructors are HOT, which makes repeatedly falling on your ass because you didn't lean forward, and losing your bottoms each time you get on your board even more mortifying.
So where does the little Korean man come in? Master Chang is my Hapkido instructor. I swear the fist words he learned in English were LOWER, HIGHER and FASTER. I have spent hours and days and weeks in Horse-riding stance with one are extending in front of me while he walked around saying LOWER!

In yoga I have spend just as many hours, days and weeks in horse-riding stance, and Goddess (which I renamed Pooping Waitress, but that's another blog). I've also done, approximately  1 billion* Yogi core strengthening exercises (*estimated).  So, when I was shown how to crest waves in downward facing dog, no problemo (except for opening my mouth and swallowing ocean). When I was told to hop up and bend my knees LOWER on the board NO problem, I have quads of steel. 

Now all I have to do is keep my butt covered, close my mouth and stay on the board. So tomorrow while you all are eating turkey and opening presents I will be taking on the ocean again with better bottoms and hopefully less salt water inside my head. Merry Christmas!


dragondivine said...

Merry Christmas, Ruth! I'm glad today was better than yesterday. May Christmas be more like today--and even better!!! HAVE FUN SURFING!
You are glorious and I think that it is absolutly and marvelously spectacular that you are learning to surf!!! Major coolness. "There is no certainty, only adventure" and all that. I'm getting that tattooed on me with my compass. Permenant reminder.

Anywho, a very blessed solstice, bon voyage pendant tes vacances, and I MISS AND LOVE YOU!


Scot Trombly-Freytag said...

Merry Christmas, Ruth! Glad you are taking in the local scenery ;-). The surfing lessons sound like fun, however, next time you need someone there to laugh and point. I'd be there for ya' :-D

Scot Trombly-Freytag said...

Btw, pictures! Or it didn't happen ;-)