Wednesday, December 19, 2012

an adventure was about to happen

I'm getting ready for an adventure.

Something I've never done before. I will be all on my own, knowing no one, in the Dominican Republic for 8 days. No kids to get from here to there. No household chores that need doing. No commitments, no errands or jobs. No morning alarm, and no bedtime. No structure to my day except what I make of it. To be honest I'm not sure how I will cope with this.

Being an organized person I like to prepare. Firstly, I have had all visible body hair removed, and/or trimmed, and/or coloured. My toenails are being done today, bright red, and all those nasty callouses will be sawed off. Also, I'm actually succumbing to vanity (who am I kidding, I'm vanity's bitch) and getting a spray tan tomorrow, so when I meet two old friends in Montreal for dinner during my stop over, I will look like I'm returning from vacation instead of going to. Seeing old friends is another reason I am going to extra yoga classes, so I can pretend that I effortlessly and always look svelte and fabulous (I have never said I wasn't superficial, you can check).

Aside: Spray tans, What I Only Just Found Out: it's me, naked, in a room with a 'professional' spraying every inch of  my pasty-glow-in-the-dark white skin with a tan-in-a-can airbrush. THAT will be dignified, and then you let it 'cook' for different times depending how dark you want to be. I'm going for that just slightly bronzed enough to cover the jiggly parts of my thighs and tummy. I know, I KNOW, there will be people who will be disappointed in me for doing this. Who will think I should be proud of my white skin and not condone unhealthy sunbathing habits. To them I can only say, I have a Groupon, what can you do?

Many people would be able to pack for such a trip with just a carry on. Not me, I've never packed lightly in my life. My Kindle will take up less room than the six or seven books I'd pack, but I may just pack the books as well.

Also, I will need:
  •  art supplies, sketch books, pencils, markers, paints, special Art Doodle journal that I've had for a year and not made a mark in.
  • camera supplies, lens. memory cards etc,  because you know I can't go anywhere without taking several thousand photos of it.
  • writing supplies, pretty journal, nice pens, laptop to blog and share with etc.
  • hair supplies, another reason not to check my bag, no WAY 3oz of anything will be enough to last me for 8 days, seriously!
  • yoga outfits for yoga on a paddle board, and on the beach, yes it's true, I will downward dog it anywhere with anyone
  • cute dress to flirt with local men, positive thinking here, I didn't get all that hair removed, and spray tanned for nothing.
  • bathing suits (two piece! yes, this really is an adventure).
  • several fabulous, but oh so causal "this-old-thing" outfits - see cute dress and hair removal comments.
There is more, sunscreen, passport, SHOES, but you get the idea.

I hope you will all still love me after this unabashed display of vanity and superficiality, and I promise you a profound thought or two in blogs to come, till then it's packing and unpacking obsessively till flight time.


The Jackal and Vixen said...

I'm sure you realise that "superficial" is only a little part of "supercalifragilisticexpialidocious"... it's possible the Dominican Republic will never again be the same -- good on you for potentially changing the path of world history.

The Jackal and Vixen said...

Wow, I'd forgotten I had a blogger account! It's Leanne :) Have a lovely, wonderful, marvellous, spectacularly terrific time.

Robert Miroballi said...

Good for you! Have fun, be safe.

dragondivine said...

Have fun! I love you!

Ruth Elliott said...

an update: when you -POLITELY- ask an overworked salesperson if they have any shorts and bathing suits for sale because you're going on vacation and you've lost so much weight you don't have anything that fits, they might not be as happy for you as you would like.

Vivian said...

I think I'm a tad bit envious. Sounds like a wonderful adventure. Enjoy!