Sunday, March 04, 2007

we've come for you liver

MAN: Hello. Uhh, can we have your liver?
MR. BROWN:
My what?
MAN:
Your liver. It's a large, ehh, glandular organ in your abdomen.
ERIC:
[sniff]
MAN:
You know, it's, uh,-- it's reddish-brown. It's sort of, uhh,--
MR. BROWN:
Yeah,-- y-- y-- yeah, I know what it is, but... I'm using it, eh.
ERIC:
Come on, sir.
MR. BROWN:
Hey! Hey! Stop!
ERIC:
Don't muck us about.
MR. BROWN:
Stop! Hey! Hey! Stop it. Hey!
MAN:
Hallo.
MR. BROWN:
Ge-- get off.
MAN:
What's this, then? Mmh.
MR. BROWN:
A liver donor's card.
MAN:
Need we say more?
ERIC:
No!
MR. BROWN:
Listen! I can't give it to you now. It says, 'in the event of death'. Uh. Oh! Ah. Ah. Eh.
MAN:
No one who has ever had their liver taken out by us has survived.
MR. BROWN:
Agh.
ERIC:
Just lie there, sir. It won't take a minute.

so HAVE you signed your liver donor card??

I've just had a lovely time with so many varied and clever medical personal and equipment, just to be told "your liver's pooped out"..... ah modern science! I'm delevoping a healthy paranoia of phlebotomists and large machines that say, not just ping, but utter a cacophony of bangs, whirs, and bangs.

Ah well, hang on for chapter two this week....

8 comments:

Kvatch said...

phlebotomists

Aren't those they people who read the bumps on your head? I'd definitely keep an eye on them! :-)

So what's up? Do tell. Not something serious I hope.

Callooh said...

actually they are the vampires that stick you with needles at 5am, and 1pm and so on.... heartless bunch (got the bruises to prove it)

my liver enzymes are what's up 200x normal - the good news, I'm NOT being poisoned (one never knows with disgruntled separated spouses), don't have hepatitis, not a drunk (kinda tough, I don't drink) -- they still don't know... so more phlebotomists and tests.

but hey at least I'm yellow, it's not easy being yellow....

The Future Was Yesterday said...

hey at least I'm yellow, it's not easy being yellow....
No, I can imagine it wouldn't be. What the hell would you wear with it?

I hope "they" get you back to normal soon. I was in the morgue staging area after a heart attack, when this sweet young thing rushes in my room: "Sir, don't move!! You're dying!!!" She got my best "Nooooo Shit???"

A few of the 2,000,000 wires they put on me with super glue had somehow worked their way loose. It was driving the monitoring machine nuts; the hired help was scaring the shit out of me!!

Callooh said...

ha ha! I'm a nurse, you dying types are more trouble!! careful with that heart stuff, you need a heart last time I checked....

as for yellow, well I suppose fall colours would work.

Kvatch said...

so more phlebotomists and tests.

Yeah...remmebered afterward that the bump reading dudes are "phrenologists" (that is right isn't it?)

Much luck with discovering the cause and determining that it is indeed non-life threatening.

Callooh said...

yeah, those guys, don't have much to do with them - too much hair...

I think I may post the 'top ten' things I DON'T have -- so far I'm still a 'mystery'

I don't think (hope?!) it's going to be life threatening, that would really put wrench in some of my life plans...

thanks for the messages, I joke a lot, but I do really appreciate them.

Mariamariacuchita said...

Liver problems seem to be everywhere.

Callooh said...

it's a bummer - but it appears to be getting better... (typing hopefully!)